Friendship
Q: I have a friend who is growing farther away from the Lord; our relationship has become strained. What can I do?
A: The very best advice I can give you on how to help your friend is to be a gap stander. I encourage you to spend time praying in the Spirit for her. Perhaps you can even fast and pray for this relationship with the Lord to be restored. Fasting and prayer have broken many yokes in other peoples’ lives. You’ll also find your own faith strengthened to believe for her return to the Lord. So the most effective action you can take is to pray, pray, pray!
Q: My husband works with an alcoholic who is living with a man who is not her husband. She has repeatedly invited us to their home for dinner. Should we accept?
A: Jesus associated with men and women with poor reputations, and He told us to go into all the world to preach the gospel: “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, Look, a man glutton, and a winebibber; a friend of tax collectors and sinners! But wisdom is justified by her children” (Matthew 11:19).
I believe the Lord wants you to carry your witness into this woman’s home, even though she is an alcoholic and living with a man—certainly they both need the Lord, and you can bring Him to them! Do not be concerned by what other people may think of you—Jesus wasn’t—but rather be concerned about the salvation of these two precious souls.
On the other hand, you should be certain that those people with whom you spend most of your time are fellow Christians. The Bible is very clear about the dangers of being unequally yoked with unbelievers, and that injunction definitely applies to all levels of relationships—business, marriage, and friendship (see 2 Corinthians 6:14).
Spiritual fellowship is a gift of God for those within the Body of Christ (Psalms 55:14; Galatians 2:9). Even the backslider is one who is out of fellowship with God; and therefore, our position should be to pray and believe that such a person will turn back to God. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in how much time to spend with unbelievers and what activities to share with them.
Q: I am so grieved about some friends of mine who have become involved in a false doctrine. Now they are harassing me with “intellectual” reasons why I should not believe the Bible as God’s Word. What can I do?
A: The very first thing I want to tell you is, “Don’t give up on your friends!” If you cannot speak to them about the subject and they will not take any literature, then pray this scripture for them: “These also who erred in spirit will come to understanding, and those who complained will learn doctrine” (Isaiah 29:24).
Your friends have erred in their spirit, but you can pray this promise for them to return to right understanding. God says that those who have erred in spirit will learn the Word of God as a reality, and you can claim that scripture. It may sometimes take months and even years, but over and over again we have seen God restore individuals to correct doctrine.
Don’t argue with your friends, and don’t listen to their false doctrines; but do keep praying the authority of God’s Word over their lives. Then watch God enlighten the eyes of their understanding!
Q: Marilyn, I’m confused by something Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 1:20. In referring to Hymenaeus and Alexander, were Paul’s words, “I have delivered unto Satan,” just a saying of his times or should we take this literally?
A: Paul also used this phrase in his letter to the Corinthians. A man was openly committing fornication and refused to repent. When Paul said to deliver him to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, he was telling the Church to withdraw their spiritual covering from this man. In other words, they were to stop fellowshipping with him and to let him reap the results of his sin. (See 1 Corinthians 5:1-11).
Any member of the Church has God’s supernatural covering as a result of the corporate anointing on the Body. When this covering is withdrawn, Satan can attack a person fully. I believe the action of disfellowshipping an individual should only be done through the authority of the church leadership—and then only under the very specific, strong direction of the Holy Spirit.
The good news is the end of the Corinthian story. We are told in 2 Corinthians 2:6-11 that this brother repented and was restored to fellowship with the Body of Christ.
Paul indicated in his letter to Timothy that Hymenaeus and Alexander were guilty of blasphemy. There is no record that they were ever restored to fellowship.
Q: Is it really Biblical to be “legally” married? I have a friend who loves the man she is living with very much, but they don’t believe a marriage certificate is necessary because they are married to one another in their hearts.
A: The Bible is very clear that we are to obey the ordinances of our government: “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake… For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men…” (1 Peter 2:13,15).
A marriage certificate is required by God because it is required by most states for a marriage to be legally binding. Without a marriage certificate, the rights of the individuals involved, and any children they may have, could be unprotected. God set up governments for the sake of order and law, and we are required to submit to those laws.
In the marriage ceremony vows of commitment are made to God and to the marriage partner. These vows are important, and the wedding ceremony is important. Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding. Certainly, He believed that weddings were important.